Why Combination Feeding Saved Our Breastfeeding Journey
One of the biggest things I learnt during my breastfeeding journey was that feeding your baby doesn't always have to fit into one neat little box.
Long before Bailey was born, I had already decided that if breastfeeding was successful for us, I also wanted her to take bottles of expressed breastmilk from the beginning. Not because I didn't want to breastfeed her, but because I wanted a little flexibility. I wanted PJ to be able to help with overnight feeds if needed, I wanted to know she would happily take a bottle if I ever had to leave the house and, if I'm completely honest, I had this feeling in the back of my mind that breastfeeding might feel like a lot for me. I couldn't explain why, but I trusted that instinct enough to prepare for it.
So while I was pregnant, I spent hours researching bottles and dummies, trying to find options that were as breastfeeding-friendly as possible. I wanted to protect our breastfeeding relationship while also creating a little breathing room if we ever needed it. Looking back now, I'm so glad I listened to that instinct because our feeding journey ended up looking nothing like I had imagined.
Despite introducing bottles early, my goal was always to exclusively feed breastmilk for the first six months. I had no intentions of introducing formula before then, if at all. If I'm honest, I felt quite strongly about that. I had looked at the ingredient lists of different formulas while I was pregnant, and there were a lot of things in them that I personally wasn't comfortable with. At the time, I couldn't imagine choosing formula if breastfeeding was an option.
Around the five-month mark, though, I found myself going down the biggest research rabbit hole. I spent hours comparing brands, reading ingredient lists, looking into different types of formula and trying to figure out what I felt most comfortable with if we ever needed it. I remember feeling so much resistance. Even researching it made me emotional because, in my mind, looking at formula somehow meant I was already giving up on breastfeeding.
Looking back now, I realise I was putting so much pressure on myself. I had convinced myself that introducing formula meant I'd somehow failed, even though that had never been true. I just couldn't see it at the time.
I still remember Bailey sleeping on me while I was having a full-blown conversation with ChatGPT, desperately trying to work out whether it was time to introduce formula, which one to choose and what that decision would mean for us. It felt so much bigger than simply deciding how to feed my baby. Somehow, it made me feel like I wasn't giving her the very best there was, and as every mum wants exactly that for her child, the guilt hit me hard.
Part of that guilt came from the fact that my original goal had always been to make it to at least six months exclusively on breastmilk. But as those months went by, I kept hearing from our tongue tie practitioner, midwives and other health professionals that breastfeeding for one year or longer was highly recommended, particularly from an oral development perspective. Knowing Bailey had already had a compromised start because of her oral ties during those first few months only added to that pressure. I wanted the very best outcome for her, and suddenly I felt torn between what I thought I should be doing and what was actually sustainable for our family.
I sat with that decision for days. I went backwards and forwards over it constantly. Even though we'd introduced bottles of expressed breastmilk from the beginning because that was the right decision for us, I somehow still carried this enormous amount of guilt that I wasn't doing the "exclusively breastfeeding" thing the way I believed I should have. Looking back now, I actually think this idea alone creates so much unnecessary pressure for new mums. Social media certainly doesn't help. You scroll through endless videos of women who seem to exclusively breastfeed with ease, and it's hard not to compare yourself when you're struggling. There's this quiet fear of judgement woven through it all, like people might think you didn't try hard enough or simply gave up too soon.
But the reality is that every family is different, every baby is different and every feeding journey is different. What works beautifully for one mum might not work for another, and that doesn't make either journey more or less successful.
In the end, I don't regret a single decision we made. If anything, combination feeding saved our breastfeeding relationship. Introducing bottles early meant Bailey happily accepted both the breast and a bottle, and when breastfeeding aversion hit during my second pregnancy, pumping and bottle feeding allowed me to continue giving her breastmilk until after her first birthday. Looking back now, I honestly don't think that would've been possible if I'd clung so tightly to the idea that it had to be breastfeeding or nothing.
We eventually introduced goat's milk formula to help make my freezer stash last as my pregnancy progressed. The goal was always for Bailey to continue receiving breastmilk until she turned one, and this gave us the opportunity to do exactly that. We started with the dream feed because I'd read that it might also help with sleeping through the night. After spending far too many hours researching different options, goat's milk formula was simply the one I personally felt most comfortable introducing. It aligned best with what I was looking for, and having an option that I felt good about made what already felt like such a difficult decision just a little bit easier. I'm also incredibly grateful that we had the privilege of having that choice. Formula is expensive, and I know not every family has the same access or options that we did.
Looking back now, I wish I could go back and hug the version of myself who sat there crying over ingredient lists, convinced that introducing formula somehow meant I'd failed. I wish she knew that none of those decisions took away from everything we'd already achieved together. If anything, they protected it.
Our breastfeeding journey wasn't defined by one bottle of formula, one bottle of expressed milk or one difficult season. It was defined by hundreds of quiet moments, middle-of-the-night feeds, cuddles, comfort and showing up for Bailey in the very best way I could.
If you're feeling guilty because your feeding journey doesn't look the way you imagined, I hope you know you're not alone. Feeding your baby doesn't have to be all or nothing, and your worth as a mother has never been measured by whether you exclusively breastfed, combination fed or used formula from day one.
One day, I think you'll look back and realise that the bottles, the breast, the pumping sessions and the formula were never the most important part of your story. The love behind every decision you made was.
Love,
Charlie
